Birthday up in smoke

 

imageSomeone once told me that you reach a certain age and you suddenly discover you have every thing you want. You have a Family, a Job, a Mortgage, and with it comes grown up responsibilities, the one thing you don’t have is time. Well I must have reached that age on what is my once a year day.

However this year the gods are on my side, unlike the poor souls in the North Of England, here we have a fine day, and I have time to play. Time to fire up the wood fired bread oven. I built this in the summer and subject of an earlier post, but rarely have the time to use it and when I do, it rains, but not to day. So there I was out in the garden before first light firing up the oven, which then bakes the spelt bread, things are looking good.

Continuing the outdoor theme I then lit the fire basket, to cook home cured & smoked bacon, in my home made frying pan, can you see a theme going here.

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Add this to hot spelt bread, home made brown sauce, and you have the ultimate bacon sandwich, and for once the fact that its taken hours and hours doesn’t matter.image

Soon its back to real life, the projects are piling up, but for today if I want have fire in the garden and cook something who cares.

Tom

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Extreme Upcycling

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10 years ago I acquired an Office Chair, it wasn’t new then, not all the knobs worked but it suited me and as I remember it was cheap . You just learnt to sit a certain way and accept the arms had to be that height. Finally after all this time the back broke and  I had to admit defeat and purchase a replacement, but couldn’t bring myself to throw the chair away.

So with a few days off over Christmas its the perfect project, and whatever the end result its going to be an improvement, further by using up leftover bits and pieces I can make it without cost. Proper Upcycling  I have to be honest after that statement and say it helps if you have a well stocked workshop, where you have left over beech wood and horse hair, but we will let that go by. So that’s my challenge. A new Office Chair without spending money

The first job was to strip it down, where I discovered the chair had been made in 1994, so its done it time, and by tightening a few nuts I have repaired the arm mechanism, something that should have been done years ago think of all that comfort I have missed out on.

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Then making use of some left over pieces of beech I have made a simple wooden frame as a replacement back, which will fix to the existing mechanism so I keep the adjustments. In turn that then gets upholstered with horse hair to create a deep buttoned back, how good is that. Then a new cover for the seat and bobs your uncle. Its a shame I have to stop for Christmas but come back later  and see how I get on.

 

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Finally the video

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Sometimes real life just gets in the way of having fun and that’s certainly been the case here. The oven was built and tested August, and I am delighted to say its been well used since. The downside of it is to fire it takes so much fuel that you want to make maximum use of the heat, and so end up cooking, bread, cakes, stews, and even and I struggle to say the word Pizza, all at the same time. Last year I cooked the Christmas turkey in the hot smoker, this year I think I can go better cooking it in the bread oven.

I have found the inclusion of a temperature gauge on the oven door brings out the “inner cavemen” found in all men. Managing and controlling the fire to maintain a constant optimum temperature is an art form not to be taken lightly, The selection and placement of the right type and quantity of wood becomes critical and you cant take your eye off the gauge for a moment if you are to maintain optimum heat. An enormous responsibility  to which my dearly beloved just shrugs her shoulders and says” well it keeps him busy for a few hours”

Finally I have had time to edit the video and if you would like to see the transformation from a pile of bricks into the magnificent edifice you see before you click here to see the video

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Counting Down to Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching and every family has its own traditions in preparation . In the Green household we have our own food milestones pointing the way. Starting in late summer picking and drying plums, which are then incorporated into a traditional Plum Pudding, its only after we made this for a few years did I discover that when the recipe referred to plums it actually meant dried fruit, but by then we had perfected the pudding and couldn’t do without it.

We then move on as the months go by to Sloe Gin, proper Mincemeat, and at the end of November Piccalilli, sometimes known as Mustard pickle. An absolute must with cold turkey sandwiches. As always home made is best.

The recipe is simple. Start with 1kg of chopped vegetables, the traditional mix is chopped cauliflower, onions, carrots, and cucumber,  but you can add what works for you, peppers, chilli, green beans, take your pick. Put the veg in a plastic bowl and salt with 200 gram of sea salt, cover and leave overnight. Then drain and rinse with cold water three times.

In a saucepan combine 500ml of white wine vinegar with 85grms of sugar, 1.5 teaspoons of turmeric, 2 teaspoons of mustard powder, 1 teaspoon of ground ginger. reserve a little vinegar and mix it with 15 grams of corn flour which you then add to the pan. When its all mixed together add the vegetables, bring to the boil, and simmer for 12-15 mins. Using a slotted spoon, spoon the veg into hot jam jars and top up with the mustard sauce to cover the veg. Then place in a dark place and leave for a month to mature. Just perfect for Christmas.

Be warned boiling vinegar isn’t everyone’s favourite aroma, but its worth the pain, crunchy veg in a sauce that’s packed with flavour. I cant wait

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Is there a food God?

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Every home cook will know that when you come to basic ingredients whatever you make at home, there is a factory made version, and its a balancing act as to wether its worth the effort making. A classic example of this dilemna would be pastry, if the TV shows are to be believed even professional chefs buy it it ready made.

For a time I grew my own wheat to make flour, and whilst I thoroughly enjoyed doing it, decent shop brought flour was probably better. But I had fun so for me it was worth it, but as a straight cost benfit analysis it probably wasnt.

Now if you have read my blog before you will know I delight in a bacon sandwich, and lack of organisation means I tend to use shop brought bacon, but occasioanally life co operates and I manage to make my own. It requires remarkably very little effort, just forward thinking and organisation, and knocks the commercial product right out of the park.

Start with a piece of pork from a proper butcher. If you like streaky bacon buy belly pork, if you prefer meaty bacon buy pork loin. I tend to purchase about a kilo and get the butcher to trim the skin off, but make sure he gives it back to you as it makes superb pork scatching a delicasy for another day. I like to use a dry rub which for about 1 kg uses 75 grms of salt and an equal amount of muscavado sugar, to which I add Prague No 1 powder. Make your own mind up about the prague powder, read the manufacturers instructions, and measure carefully. My natural inclination is to avoid adding chemicals but in this case it keeps the bacon pink rather than grey and more importantly avoids botullism. So mix your rub and then rub into your piece of pork, taking care to get it into all the little creases. Put it into an airtight plastic box, in the fridge a leave it for a week. turn it daily.

At the end of the week, rinse throughly with cold water, and wash off all the salt. If you leave it to soak for 20 mins it helps. Its now ready to use and very good it is too. As luck would have it I have a smoke house so I then smoke mine overnight with maple chips and the end result, for what is really very little effort is amazing. Slice it and cook it over wood in a frying pan you made, with home made spelt bread, home made brown sauce, and you have a meal fit for the gods. I dont know if there is a food god but if there is he ( she) is smiling down on me today, makes up for the mistakes. The only element left for improvement is home made butter – one day.

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How Many??

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Most of work I do is making one off items, so I didnt really think it through when I was asked by a Theatrical Hire company customer to make some dressing room screens. Apparently they have a demand for these, but due to fire regulations they cant buy mass produced screens, as the materials used wont comply with the regs for use in public buildings, so they asked me to make six covered in a fire resistant material. No Problem I said.

Technically its not difficult its just 18 frames all the same, which are hinged together in threes. What I hadnt taken into account was the qty.90 seperate pieces of wood to be cut to length, and 216 individual joints to be fitted. 18 frames to make and cover, with 30 mts of flame proofed material. Now if your a mechanised factory thats not worth setting up the machinery to start, but for me thats a lot. To make it easier I purchased a pneumatic stapler. As a Traditional Upholsterer who revels in horsehair and springs, hand hammered tacks to hold the fabric are derigeur. Thats before I had 18 frames to cover. Now having used one I wouldnt be without it, so much for principles, Ill start using rubber foam next. 

image Still all six of them are finished in three days, just in time for the Office party season, and I have already been asked for 12 more.  Its a way of earning a living, but the downside is whilst making these, my mind wandered and I now have a pile of projects in my head which I am desperate to start.

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How to make Bacon taste better

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It was a quiet Sunday morning, no one wants me, and therefore I have a chance to play. Now it happens I have been watching the Hairy Bikers new series, not quite sure how I can describe them if you haven’t seen them, two middle aged bikers, who love food, with a great sense of humour, and don’t take themselves too seriously. They travel on their bikes, in this case around the Baltic states meeting people and cooking usually outside. Now it may be because I am a strange individual, or I would prefer to think an observer of minutiae, but I have been very interested by the frying pan they have been using  and have been waiting for an opportunity to try and make one , and today was the day.

In the past when I have had blacksmith students I have always had them make a toasting fork as the first project, it takes all morning and the you use it at lunch time to toast your lunch on the forge. Words cannot describe how good a sausage cooked on the forge with a fork you have just made. The sense of achievement is priceless, and the sausage albeit invariably burnt is delightful. But no more. In future its frying pans all the way.

Its a lovely project, a fancy handle, some rivets, forge welding, and plate steel bent up at the edges, and then its ready. I defy anyone to keep a straight face who tries it. Bacon cooked over a open fire on a home made frying pan was so good I couldn’t stop grinning for an hour. Follow it up with bread fried in the bacon fat and you have a recipe for a heart attack  but so very very good. If I am honest it could do with some design tweaks, and having made one the next will be a great improvement, that’s the nature of craft,but who cares we had a superb lunch.

What’s next. As I was driving home I heard a program expounding the virtues of spit roasting meat at Hampton Court, now there would be a challenge, and it combines two of my great loves making things and eating.

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Tales of the Riverbank

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Occasionally life shines upon you and presents opportunities that are too good to resist, and this weekend  was one of these days when I was given the opportunity to go aboard the Queens Row barge the Gloriana. Built for the Queens jubilee in 2012 its now operated by a charitable trust charged with promoting use of the River Thames in London.

This weekend it was being used by a charity who had secured its use and had raised tens of thousands of pounds by offering the opportunity to be rowed up the river as an auction prize,fromKingston to the Royal Palace at Hampton Court and back. The volunteer crew press ganged for the afternoon did a magnificent job powering the craft  at a leisurely pace to Hampton Court.My connection was with the rowing crew who as a reward for several hours exertion were allowed to invite guests to enjoy the craft for an hour.

You can make your own mind up about the royalty and whether its a good or bad thing. Having visited the Royal Mews, and Palaces, several times and now the Royal Barge, from the point of view of a craftsmen its gives the opportunity to practice your craft at an incredible level which would not be viable in a commercial environment. The Quality of workmanship and attention to detail, and finish is astounding.

DSC_0150 No panel is left unadorned, and its painted not a transfer. I had an uncle alas no longer with us who was a professional woodcarver, and he instilled in me an appreciation of carving, and on this boat it is of the highest order, which is then then gilded, polished, and pimped. I could sit, and did, just enjoying the workmanship and skill of those who built her we are told in only 16 weeks a remarkable achievement.

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Years ago I worked on the Millennium dome. The Queen was due on New Years Eve, and certain facilities  in one of the hospitality suites was earmarked for the Queens exclusive use. Word came down from on high, that once installed no one but no one was to use it on pain of death. Needless to say every builder on the site sneaked in to test it, doing their best to appear nonchalant, whilst furtively glancing left and right to make sure they weren’t spotted , whilst those around made a point of not seeing.  As a result I am told it needed to be replaced several times before the opening night. Much to my amusement the same was true on the barge there was a discrete cubicle tucked in the corner of the cabin, but it seems no one can resist sitting on the Royal Throne.

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Even More Naked Man in a Tub

Its seems a long time ago now that I built this project but finally the video is published today, and the wider world gets to see my naked form across the internet. I am not sure what my mother would have said, and as every father will tell you its his sworn duty to embarrass his children, a duty I take seriously.

The video is now posted on you tube and the book is available from http://www.fitzrobbie.co.uk. The key to getting good viewing figures on you tube is the title and the key words regardless of the content. The racier the title the better. I keep having to stop myself posting a video entitled “Princess Diana Sex Tape” The viewing figures and consequently the advertising revenue would be superb. I suppose I should state to stop myself getting sued I don’t have any such video or images of Princess Diana, and I was definitely resisting the urge to link her to Kim Kardashian as I am sure they never met.  But think of the viewing figures, if you could get a cuddly kitten in there as well I could retire. I may try reposting this video with Naked Man in a Tub as the title and compare the figures. It would be an interesting experiment, especially if I then changed to the key words to match. Although if you typed in the word “sex” and ended up here, your most welcome but be kind with your comments.

Following a productive summer I now have a stock of videos awaiting publication. Each group of videos will now be linked to a booklet, so the speed of publication goes down. On the other hand each booklet now has an ISBN number so its officially published with a copy in the British Copyright Library. It doesn’t matter if no one buys a copy, I’m an author now, finally a proper job,and for that my Mother would be proud.

 

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You knew me when I was poor

Following some feedback from an earlier post ” is it a book or is it a film” I finally made a decision and published my latest video with an accompanying booklet.

The video which is really in two parts, deals in part one with the manufacture of a wood fired water heater for a hot tub, the tub manufacture is dealt with in part 2. Spot the fancy title sequence and see how I age.

Having decided to publish the book then you go through all the hassles and costs of actually doing it. Getting ISBN numbers was the easy bit it just involved a cheque. Then its how you actually distribute the book. My original thought was amazon, but their percentages, transaction costs, and myriad other dressed up charges, for small volumes makes this uneconomic. As part of the sign up process, they want access to my complete identity, passport number, everything. Now I am sure they justify it as a way of preventing tax fraud, but do I really want to hand over my complete online identity to a company who doesn’t seem to pay a lot of tax in the UK, so they can prevent tax fraud. As my old dad used to say “people in glass houses shouldn’t take showers” at least I think that’s what he said.

Rant over, I have been pondering this dilemma for months hence the gap in posted videos. I had looked at starting my own ecommerce site but again the costs outweigh the benefits when dealing with niche markets. The solution came out of the blue from a customer of mine, Trafalgar Lighting. As a company they have embraced digital commerce with a number of online enterprises, and have a history of supporting others. Have a look at the www.lilygreenfoundation.org which they sponsor.  They do however have a website http://www.fitzrobbie.co.uk which to put it politely just ticks over. They have kindly allowed me to put my booklets on that site, which will be joined by some of my products in time, as away of dipping my toe in the digital water.

Having produced the booklet and the videos I now have to try and earn a crust by promoting it. Obviously the life of a celebrity awaits, fast cars, vast yachts, the jet set life style are for me. However I have promised my family I will turn down “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” and a nude calendar is unlikely. However the current debate as today is the start of new series of Strictly Come Dancing in the UK. Should I do it? will I look good in a sequins.

Its a whole new world of problems. Still you knew me when I was poor.

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