How to Keep a Man Happy

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For the last few weeks I have been building a bread oven, not to be confused with a pizza oven, in my back garden.Previous posts have chronicled the trials and tribulations, although if I am honest it wasn’t difficult but rather just hard work brick laying which is something I really don’t like doing.

However now it’s all finished, and with three days of a bank holiday weekend it’s the perfect time to have the grand opening bake. If you look at the picture as well as a smooth debonair man about town, it takes a certain panache to carry off that hat, you will see three openings. the large lower one is where the fire goes, the little one above it, which was really an after thought is the proving oven, and the one on the left hand side with the dial is the oven. The idea is that the heat from the pot, passes through a gap in the internal dividing wall , through the oven cavity and exits up the chimney .

I am delighted to report everything worked as it should, although I don’t know why I am surprised people have been making ovens like this for centuries. Starting slowly I started with a Mirabelle cake which needs a lower temperature, and then once that’s cooked, we moved on to bread, and finally to the dreaded P word, giving in to family pressure.

The operation of the oven in my humble opinion is the most fun a man can have, made even greater by the incorporation of a temperature gauge which is addictive. Now I can understand the enthusiasm for steam trains. managing the fire to maintain a constant temperature, is even better than barbecuing, and the thermometer is just the icing on the cake, kept me busy for hours, very elemental, and brought out my inner caveman. I may never go to work again my oven needs me.

In case your interested the bread and cake were marvellous, and the pizza I am disappointed to report was superb

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The Duck becomes a swan

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Another day off, don’t you love summer, and so another day working on my bread oven, It’s hard to imagine we have gone from a pile of bricks to this,and finally as you can see the structure is complete, with doors, a temperature gauge on the oven door, and a rather fetching coat of paint, courtesy of my dearly beloved who managed to get paint in places I didn’t think possible. I did get a photo of her afterwards where she looks like an extra in a gory horror movie, but I am banned from ever showing anyone.Finally I think we might have an actual working oven.

Alas now I have to wait a week (real work gets in the way) before we are ready for the grand innaugral bake, which promises to be the social event of the Norfolk Season. We have been given copious amounts of wood, and by then I will have finished the fire grate so there will be no stopping us, although I might just have a sneaky test go first just to make sure it works, before I open myself up to public scrutiny. Needless to say friends and family are taking great delight in asking for pizza, but I shall be strong. The menu is crusty Bread, several types, bacon and potatoe bake, with our home made bacon, and home grown pototoes, and for pudding we will have crop of mirabelles in the garden so it has to be Mirabelle cake, all baked in a wood fired oven we have built. Does it get any better than that. Its so hippy I shall have to grow a pony tail and a moustache.

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The Most Relaxing Video in the World

I have had a little time to play recently, and I finally got round to making a video of my smoker in operation. Not an instructional video, but rather a “just enjoy the moment video”. An experiment like a popular sandwich spread you will love it or hate it.

Now you can view this in various ways. You could say nothing happens, its boring, there are no murders, no one runs naked across the screen, cars don’t crash, in short nothing happens.

The other way to look at it is you have gently wafting whisps of smoke on a beautiful summers day, in the background you can hear a wide variety of different bird song, occasionally a car goes past in the distance,inevitable in England, but really nothing happens to challenge you or make you take notice. The end result is tranquil, relaxing, almost soporific, it certainly put me to sleep, and I will leave you to work out if it really was a motorbike going past near the end, or was someone snoring. I will never tell.

 

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If it looks like a duck ……

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There is an old saying that goes ” If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck” and as a rule I can go with that. However I have just spent four days building myself an outdoor bread oven, not a Pizza Oven, that fact that you could cook pizza in it hasn’t escaped me, but I have built a bread oven.

There are subtle but important differences, for example the fire goes in the bottom right hand compartment, not in the oven, the heat is then ducted through a hole in the wall to heat the oven. There is a flue with a chimney with a recycled chimney pot on the left hand side, unlike any pizza oven.  Above the fire box is another compartment, which will be the proving oven, definitely a bread thing that not pizza.

However everyone who has seen it says “oh your building a pizza oven”, and when I explain its a bread oven, they only really want to know if I can cook pizza in it.

Having now reached the half way point. The brick work is done and now its the fitting out, making doors, fire grates, door catches, all the fun stuff, so the end is in sight, and I can look forward in a few weeks time having a test firing, and I have been discussing with my family the inaugural menu. They have been present during the gestation period, they have seen me agonising over the design, debating the merits of the proving oven, and the need for the heat regulator flap. They understand my strong desire for a bread oven.

So what do they want to cook, you guessed it PIZZA

QUACK QUACK.

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The Anticipation is half the fun

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Here I am at the start of another major project, this time I am making an outdoor oven, something I have been talking about, and looking forward too for quite some time, and finally I have the time and space to do it.

Now this is going to be a bread oven, not to be confused with a pizza oven, which I look down upon with my best haughty stare ( until someone looks back and I turn away quickly, I’m not that brave). The difference is that this oven will have a separate compartment for the wood fire, and the heat is drawn through the oven and then up the chimney on the opposing side. The design is based partly on some examples I have seen of village communal ovens dating back hundreds of years, and partly on some high end artisan baker ovens still being used by trendy bakers, who charge £5 for a loaf  so it must be good. Now there is a school of thought that says “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” but I cant resist a minor modification, I shall be making and fitting a series of steel paddles between fire chamber and the oven in an effort to create a form of heat regulator, and I have managed to obtain from America a temperature gauge to fit on the front.

I have been mulling this project over for years, I have built it in my mind countless times during many a sleepless night, its grown and shrunk in size as reality hits, do I really need an oven chamber big enough to feed the five thousand when there is only six coming to dinner. However The Great British Bake off is back on TV and I have oven envy, they have proving ovens, a facility I had never heard off and we couldn’t fit into the house kitchen, but I do really fancy one maybe we can have one of those as well.

But now reality hits. Over months I have assembled the materials, bits of steel sheet and angle iron, last week I poured the concrete base, and today  I took delivery of the bricks, over 2 tons if you include the sand and cement, and having shifted it all 50mts in a wheelbarrow I am feeling every kilo.

Tomorrow its time for action, the talking is over. the Bacon Sandwich is ready, there is a fresh pint of milk ready for tea, I have a secret stash of Chocolate biscuits my daughters haven’t found  and the weather is going to be great. Now its the dodgy bit I have actually got to build it.

Wish me luck

Tom

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Is it a book or is it a film?

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For some time I have been having discussions with http://www.heritagecraft.co.uk about the formats to use for our new publications, Do we put everything on video, is it a book, and how do we earn a living, a problem far cleverer people than me have been wrestling with.

Our solution is a mixture of the two mediums, videos shot in HD which will be freely available supported by a book which will be known as Heritage Craft Project Books, and I am committed to 10 books over the next five years. The first two videos and accompanying book dealing with the construction of the hot tub and water heater comes out in a few weeks. My part is done, complete with what I thought was some of my best jokes, although having an editor for the first time was an interesting experience and soon took care of them, so I am taking advantage of a few days break between real work to film book number two.

Several of the books/ videos will be a course on leather craft, taking you from  basic stitching all the way through to advanced work, illustrated by a series of projects of increasing difficulty. Project one was really an introduction to stitching and covered how to make a luggage label, todays which is Project two is how to make a belt, tomorrow’s is a phone holster which fits the belt. Plenty of joined up thinking here. To help with the filming we are using black leather with white stitching which is very unforgiving, you have to keep everything clean, and be very precise, but then if you put yourself up as an expert you do have to be able to walk the walk.

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Now that is unusual

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In my workshop I get used to being asked to make unusual things, as a heritage craftsmen I meet a wide selection of interesting folk all of whom need interesting things made which they cant get anywhere else.

If you look back through my earlier posts you can see the kind of projects I tackle. My family are used to it. My dearly beloved didn’t bat an eyelid when I brought a full size working Combine Harvester on ebay (its a long story), after all this is a man that made the mechanism for a horse powered ice cream machine for one customer and seriously discussed a moving greenhouse on rails for another, a project which I suspect will come to fruition soon. Family frequently report back that they are asked “so what is it your dad / husband is making now?” which is closely followed by the response “that’s unusual”

However my latest commission has left them all slightly taken aback, and talking about it in hushed tones. As I have mentioned previously I do have theatrical connections one of which is a company called Theatre Secrets who work in the area of Theatre and Film effects makeup. Apparently there is a shortage of silicon Nipple Covers in a particular style needed by Body Painters, and Burlesque performers, a shortage they would like to satisfy. My part has been to make the original moulds. Its been an interesting process, which has required me to quickly learn the basics of silicon and foam latex moulding, techniques and materials I can see me using again, whilst at the same time have conversations about the size and shape of nipples, something as a wood turner I didn’t think would ever happen.

Along the way I have discovered the secret world of body casting, and if that’s your thing good luck to you, its a tough job but someone has too do it, and last Friday spent the day at a trade show for the horror industry, where amongst other incredible things was a stall selling latex versions of realistic body parts. Its certainly been an eye opener

But back to the nipple covers. I have tried a number of techniques, modelling in clay, casting with Alginate, Plaster, and Silicon, and the final version which was to turn a negative in wood, from which I then cast a Plaster of Paris Positive, which leads on to the production moulds in Silicon. I then handed the moulds  over to Theatre Secrets  who will manufacture the nipple covers, unleashing them to an unsuspecting public in a couple of weeks at a Professional Makeup show in London.

Normal service will soon be returned, I have some bed frames to make next, and the reply to ” what’s your dad making now” will go back too just “that’s unusual”, as opposed to “now that is unusual”

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Looking in a Mirror

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One of my regular customers is Trafalgar Lighting (www.trafalgarlighting.co.uk) a Theatrical Equipment Hire company based in North London, for whom I make all manner of bits and pieces.

One of their popular hire items is Illuminated Makeup Mirrors used for films and fashion shows, and over the years I have made them quite a number. Following a request from one of their customers I have just made them two full length illuminated mirrors. These stand at just under 2mts high by 750mm wide, supported by sturdy metal wheeled frames to withstand the rigours of touring, with a total of 14 brass lamp holders per unit seriously big and I am rather pleased with them, as are they.

However I found making them very disconcerting, too much looking in a mirror.

Whilst it is accepted in our house that I am undoubtedly a trend setter in fashion, my family are just  too polite to admit it.  I have been wearing Bib and Brace overalls for years long before The Guardian declared them the look for this summer. I have had ripped jeans for as long as I can remember, and I didn’t need to pay trendy prices too get them.  Despite being such a Hipster, I only tend to look in a mirror once a day and then not very closely. What I found building these was I was getting lots of close encounters with a strange person as I bent over to fit things or do up screws, and discovered that my hair seems to be a magnet for sawdust even if I hadn’t  been sanding something.

I tried brushing it out to no avail, and then I made the horrendous realisation that most of my flowing auburn locks have fallen out and what remains has  mysteriously changed colour whilst I wasn’t paying attention. My father who had a similar hair style use to joke he had a chauffeurs haircut ” a trim up the wings with a polish on the bonnet” I think I am really funny asking for a Mohican every time the barber asks what I want, although the barber may not agree.

Too much reality creeping in. I might need to admit to my thirtieth birthday soon,  but I think I will stick to my sawdust story for now

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Naked Man in Bath

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Finally after many months of work, the Hot Tub is complete, its plumbed into the wood fired water heater, I had a big pile of wood off cuts, and no one wanted me all day. Perfect

The weather forecast was dubious but  not enough to put me off. I have never anticipated the end of a project, with such excitement, as much as I have looked forward to this one. Its not that it was particularly difficult project, it was big, it was unusual, and there was a complete lack of information available on how to do this, but I’m used to that, but the end was the culmination of a long held dream. A Hot Tub in the garden in which I can sit back, relax, listen to the birds singing, let the world pass me by,and play with my rubber duck, no honestly as you can see from the picture my daughter brought me a rubber duck. A rather large one but then this is no ordinary bath.

The water heater was an unknown quantity, yet vital to the success of the project, especially if my dearly beloved was too join me. After 6 hours of heating the tub was adjudged warm enough to venture in, and even if it had been freezing I wouldn’t care I was still going in. The actual result was mixed the water on top two thirds was lovely, the bottom third could have been warmer. Im sure a clever school boy (or girl) could give us the official scientific term, whereas I just see it that heat rises, and there wasn’t a current to mix it all up.

Have no fear I have an adjustment in mind to fix that, and soon the video will be ready, though I am not sure the world is ready for a video of an over weight middle aged naked man in a bath, alternatively it might be the start of my career as the thinking womens bit of rough.

You heard it first

Tom

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The Moment of Truth!!!

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If you have seen my posts before you will know for the last couple of months I have been making a cedar wood hot tub and wood fired water heater to warm it all up. Finally its all assembled, the plumbing is complete, I have a big pile of wood offcuts and at last I have a free afternoon.

So the moment of truth has arrived, will all this time, wood, and steel, combine to create a steaming hot tub. The time for talk is over. Its action time

At 2pm with a feeling of trepidation I lit the fire for the first time. The good news is that smoke comes out the chimney, so at least I know that works.

After 10 mins  the hot water return pipe feels hot, so at least something is getting warm.

After 20 mins I am convinced providing you hold your hand next to the hot water inlet you can feel a most definite rise in water temperature. it just needs to get to the rest of the tub.

From what I have read its going to take about 2 hours to heat the water, I am not known for my patience but this is killing me.

keep in touch

tom

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