We can all breath out

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Every husband or boyfriend will know of that moment of fear and dread just before you hand over “the present”. By day whilst we may not all be captains of industry, but we are decisive, and capable of making decisions. Until it involves a present for our beloveds.

Many years ago I happened across a book by Roger Welsch with the superb title  ” Everything I know about women I learnt from my tractor”. A man after my own heart. Some of his theories may not be politically correct , the concept of Rodeo Sex where you wait until you a in the middle of a romantic moment, and then whisper in your beloveds ear the name of a previous paramour and then see how long you can stay on for, is not for polite company but made me burst out laughing.

However I digress, in the book, Roger having managed to attract a wife who in reality like my own allowed herself to be caught at a weak moment, felt that come Valentines Day he had to make a grand gesture, which I can agree with. Now obviously as its Valentines Day what ever it is must involve a heart. His solution was to craft out of steel an enormous heart, at the bottom of which he had fitted a steel box containing several pounds of best beef jerky, as a construction and a piece of work it was we are told ,magnificent. His wife came down on Valentines Day for breakfast to be confronted with this. Luckily for him and again I can identify with him, his wife was a very sensible woman, and choose to see it as an expression, albeit a misguided one, of his love and affection and came up with a solution.   You will have to read his book to find the conclusion.

I can however sympathise with his plight, its Valentines day, which we are constantly told is the most romantic day of the year. Unfortunately most men cant cope with this. We had an apprentice once who despite our best advice brought his then girlfriend pole dancing lessons believing he was being romantic, it didn’t last. He surpassed himself the following Christmas with a new girlfriend, when having learnt his lesson this time choose a practical gift of Motoring Breakdown cover, reasoning that it would stop her calling him out every time she broke down, it didn’t last.

Which brings me to my own efforts. I made it a few weeks ago and then kept it a secret which is not a natural position for me. At the time I thought it was the pinnacle of grand romantic gestures, with both a heart and red roses. What lady could ask for more, and then I have had three weeks of self doubt will she like it, is it too tacky, she is after all a sophisticated lady. I will leave you to make your own mind up.

If you fancy making one for the special person in your life the link to the video is below.

thanks for reading

Tom

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